Updated: Aug 6, 2020
1. Try to listen more
Sounds simple, right? (*Leans over to the microphone) WRONG! Some people are not so good in expressing themselves with words and if frustration gets in the way the result might not be the best. We all have that one friend who says "I'm constantly telling my bf/gf something and he/she just won't listen". But are you really saying it though? Or are you just expecting they will magically read your mind and know exactly what's going on there?
Nothing beats a good old "put your phone down and let's have a talk". No need to shout, curse, cry. People tend to listen more to a lower and calm voice.
2. Lose the will to be right all the time
Relationships are about giving yourself and sometimes that means taking the high road.
3. There's no such a thing as the perfect relationship
We are all humans, imperfect and unique just as we are. Therefore, perfection is an impossible thing to achieve. And that's totally fine. It's such a heavy thing to put on our shoulders and on our loved ones too. It's fun to learn and evolve together.
4. Pick your battles
Not everything is worth having a huge fight over. Is it annoying that he leaves the wet towel on the bed? YEEES! Do we really need to fight about this?
5. Learn yours and your loved one's LOVE LANGUAGE
Have you heard of the 5 Love Languages? I had always known there were different ways to show love, but according to this theory, there are five specifically. They're as follows: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch, and every person feels uniquely loved in one of these ways. According to the concept, the way you feel loved is also the way you show love.
For instance, my love language is Receiving Gifts, which completely makes sense since I'm this romantic person who loves to bring breakfast in bed, give/receive flowers and surprises . But I also strongly agree the notion that, "actions speak louder than words." A positive verbal gesture goes a long way for me and it aligns with the way I show appreciation for other people. An "I love you" or "job well done" makes me feel acknowledged for things I'm doing right and I like to do the same in return.
The funny thing is that Caleb's love language is Physical Touch, which means my extra romantic gifts don't have the same impact on him. Realizing this has helped me become a better partner.
You can take the test here and find out what is your love language.
L is for the way you look at me O is for the only one I see V is very, very extraordinary E is even more than anyone that you adore
I was raised with 8 siblings (I know, right?) and although I can see certain similarities both physically and in personality, I'm not the same as neither of them, so imagine being on a relationship with someone raised by a different family, from a different country (on my case). Sure we have lots in common, but we disagree on certain things too. Trying to establish a healthy debate, exposing your opinions and finding common grounds is the key.